a kid here at CU hit a new low...
first of all, he prank called me a few weeks ago, and it was a pretty weak prank call as far as those go... i've been here for a while and been present for or recipient of some REALLY good ones. this one was weak.
second of all, he made a group on facebook about me. of course, he refers to "calvert university worship" and he says i'm fake, and that i have a huge ego (stop nodding in agreement at this point), and that i just use CUW as a platform for my multiplatinum CD. i'm a hypocrite, and i personally choose all of the speakers for CUW (one of whom was this kid's DAD) for the expressed purpose of shoving my personal faith on everyone that has to sit there. Oh, and i am growing my hair to look like Jesus, and i must be 25.
well... i'm not 25... yet...
and so i am growing my hair out... if it looks dumb, just tell me to my face! i'd probably take it seriously then.
i do not personally choose all the speakers, and thus it is impossible for me to have any agenda. I appreciate those who see that the issue with CUW is deeper than me or TM. See, there's this guy named Dr. Wallace. He is the president of the University. He gets to do whatever he wants. Sometimes, he wants people who have given a LOT of money to speak in CUW. I have to say 'yes.'
i have mentioned my CD... one time in 15 CUW services. i apologize if this came across as promotion, it was not my intent. i think it's fair to mention when a song is originally written and if it has been recorded.
but on to the deeper issue here...
this young man has never had a conversation with me. He has never said "hello" to me. He has never sat at a table with me to share a meal. He has never come to my apartment, which isn't too far from his ghetto. He has never come to see me at work. He's never IMed me, never called me other than to prank, never e-mailed me unless he's pranking that as well...
so, my question is, WHO ARE YOU? what are you doing judging me? what gives you the right to make so many assumptions?
well, let's back it up a bit. If this young man is a Christian, then there are different rules at play than if he is not a follower of Christ's teachings.
If he is a Christian, his actions are completely hypocritical, ironically enough. A Christian is to speak the truth in love, and nothing about this facebook trash is in love. A Christian is to speak words of encouragement, and if necessary, loving rebuke. Nothing about this incident is encouraging to me or to the body of Christ. Nothing about the rebuke, if that's what it is, is either truthful OR loving. For a pastor's son, this kid shows very little working knowledge of how to live in Christian community.
If he's not a Christian, though, this is a little more understandable. I imagine that I can come across as intimidating... until you actually KNOW me... But, if we assume that this young man is not a follower of Christ's teaching, then there is no room for me to expect love, tolerance, understanding, compassion, or maturity.
Instead, it is perfectly natural for me to be experiencing jealousy, pride, selfishness, anger, bitterness, and other results of the flesh.
i have to remind myself that not everyone at this university is a follower of the Way or the Truth. i have to remind myself that not all of this is intended to be personal, but it very well might be the projections of someone struggling with their own identity and lack of maturity and issues of jealousy.
if you know who i'm talking about, or you ARE who i'm talking about, please call me for real, or IM me, or come see me. I have dorm drinks and junk food i'd love to share, and a couch that many people agree is pretty comfortable. please don't take offense at my sarcasm, especially the unnecessarily sarcastic moments, but instead recognize my pain and the depth of my frustration.
I am only fake when you have never spoken to me.
I am only a hypocrite when you assume you know everything
I am only 25 if you do your math wrong
take our community seriously, and be real. be honest. don't be a bodiless facebook name.
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9 comments:
Right on.
Careful attacking other's faith.
He could just be a douche.
A Christian Douche (I've met them), but a douche nonetheless.
Perhaps a Christian Vinegar Douche
i also don't mean to come across as attacking someone's faith... merely questioning, which is certainly warranted based upon this person's actions.
i think there's a difference between questioning and attacking. if they PERCEIVE it as an attack, that's another thing altogether. i'm not putting it out there to attack.
You know, I bet he would be happy to know you've spent so much time angered by his actions. He must know and be glad that he is having such an effect on you, instead of you just accepting that someone doesn't like you and forgetting it.
I'm not saying you are wrong to be upset, but don't you think he's hijacked enough of your time?
it would help to at least put a nickname, if not your name, instead of being anonymous.
i definitely appreciate your thought, though. it's hard for me to accept that someone doesn't like me, especially if they don't know me. my personality lends itself to people-pleasing, sometimes to an unhealthy degree.
i don't know what came across as anger in my post, but i assure you that anger is not the emotion i'm processing - pain and frustration are more accurate.
and yeah... having something like that ruin even just one day means that ENOUGH of my time has been hijacked.
people will always have opinions of you when you are on stage - most people have a "well, i would do it his way" perspective - or "i've seen it done this way" - either way....you can't worry about it too much - you graciously recieve their words of rebuke and bring them before the Lord to petition Him to see if there is any truth in the remarks brought before your life...let the Lord test you first before you judge your own motives and try to defend yourself - if the rebuke is in fact a righteous rebuke then we should receive it joyfully (even if the presentation is harsh and unloving - in some cases we merit that) - i hope you have a chance to meet this person - but i also hope that you respect his words and the time and consideration that went into calling you - he obviously feels strongly about some things and it is important to see the root of his frustration (whether that's a lack a Christ in his life or if it's another perspective on how Christianity should be projected from stage) i hope you are doing well...it's been a long time - praying for ya.
hey dave -
this situation is not new. paul dealt with it. christians today continue to deal with, as shelly was saying. as sinners, we seem to have problems with thinking we're God, and that we're capable of judging the heart.
i would encourage you with what paul did when people questioned him. they said all kinds of things about him (he was short, ugly, couldn't speak well, used the gospel to get rich, etc) but where did he go?
paul appealed to the God-given gift of his conscience. paul knew that he went to great pains to keep his conscience clear before God, in his own eyes.
(acts 23:1, 24:16, Rom 2:15, Rom 9:1, 2Co 1:12, 1 Ti 1:5, 2 Ti. 1:3, Heb 13:18, 1Pe 3:16)
the conscience either accuses or excuses - stay in the word, and keep a clear conscience in all this.
praying for you dude -
mike
"...instead of you just accepting that someone doesn't like you and forgetting it."
If Dave were an indifferent person not serving God and having such influence as a leader, that would definitely be the easiest thing to do.
Fortunately or unfortunately, to an extent, Christians, especially in those in leadership and other positions of visibility, are advised to attempt to clear up situations of misunderstanding and attacks on character. Sometimes to simply take criticism like that and not try to clarify your intentions is a missed oppurtunity.
We're to 'turn the other cheek,' but we're also to share our faith and clear up misconceptions. 'Turning the other cheek' is often misunderstood as surrender. It's not. It's quite the opposite; it's an action of strength. Strike the other cheek - I'm not afraid because of my faith in Christ and through him, knowledge of what is right.
[hah, no more "shut up," eh..]
K, well i'm not entirely sure what my thoughts are on this...i mean, you know i've tried to understand why some people respond to David Calvert the way they do, but i've not always had the best success. I do have a feeling that I would have some different ideas of you if i didn't know you so well, but i guess that's the whole point. Honestly, becoming friends with you has made me realize how unjustified and unloving I would be in passing much judgement on anybody without knowing their heart and circumstances. It saddens me how obviously overlooked that is by many people (and not just in your case, of course).
Sometimes i wonder, of the very-visible persons of any given community, if most of them experience this kind of thing? I bet it happens more than I've realized. Well, like Mike said.
Sometimes I really wish you would just ignore crap like this more, not take it so personally, not be so bothered with it that it "ruins your day"...But Lord knows I don't deal well with tension caused by other people, so I can't say much :) And I know it's not so much the "personal attack" that frustrates you as it is the lack of the sense of community, the lack of the sense of duty to upLIFT our brothers and sisters. That very much frustrates me too.
PR reps are supposed to develop a book of "what ifs"--scenarios of everything that could go wrong, and the appropriate solutions. I SO WISH we could have that, sometimes. There are so many factors that play into how we ought to respond--the depth of the relationship, the role each person holds in the community, the faith of each person, etc...In what situation can we respond with "righteous" anger, and how do we know it's truly righteous? When should we show compassion by dismissing other people's shortcomings, and when are we justified in leaning more heavily on the rebuke? When do we just look the other way?
Those questions remind me of some of what i wrote in your evaluation...i have a fear that some of it is going to confuse rather than "enlighten;" I had a hard time clarifying what I thought on some points, not to mention wasn't sure if they were all valid points to start with. :)We shall see.
Part of Shelly's comment stuck out to me, about graciously receiving people's words and testing them before the Lord. This seems kind of a strange thing to offer, but there is more depth into which I could go sometime, regarding the convo from that one Sunday between services...i think there's more that i could have said but didn't. And that is, as I said, an offer, *not* a tease; there's no point expounding on here since i've already written a freakin BOOK. Well, i guess an offer, though maybe I just want to hear for myself what you would say?...
w o w, i like to write too much--but you asked, so this time it's your fault that it looks like i tried to take over your blog ;p
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