my brain is completely fried from lack of sleep and overwhelming circumstances...
but i am NOT complaining, by any means. i know i can get my school and church and work stuff done... my CD stuff is coming along without me even TRYING (except for the shameless plug here or there). my current relationships are... surprising and comforting and scary and exciting and beautiful and simple and ridiculously complicated all at once.
i'm struck by how many paradoxes (is that how you spell the plural?) show up in my life upon brief reflection. I am a leader of worship and a selfish moron. Christ is completely human and completely God. The Kingdom of God is here already, and not yet here. Loving is both truly freeing and deeply wounding. Responding to the way i feel is both simple and very difficult...
on second thought... maybe it's all the paradoxes in my head that have worn me down...
it's entirely possible that if i stop thinking about them and intentionally choose to live out of Love for others and for God, i'll be just fine
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7 comments:
that's pretty good - i'm glad your mind is working so much - that's a good sign - at least it's not idle and dead :) i'm trying to write a song about the paradox of living true life in Christ - (*without actually using the word paradox b/c that makes it cheesy) so it was neat to read your thoughts - keep thinking and sharing
ah. to stop thinking.
therein lies the challenge, no?
or maybe shelly's right and thinking's not so bad--and just getting out of the rut dug by certain LINES of thought is the necessary/hard part
anyway...intriguing post david calvert
i think the plural for paradox is paradojas.
yes, i know. you're welcome.
i don't know if this is exactly a paradox, persay, but something i've been thinking a lot about lately is the difference between believing in God and believing God. even the demons believe in God. if i truly believed God's promises, i can't even imagine how radically different my life would be.
Dave, I think that all of the immensely confusing and difficult things in life that we constantly question are what make life truly real. Everyone goes through the struggles and misunderstandings that you talked about... and people who deny it or say they don't are living in a dream... and not being real. I think that struggles suck, I mean really suck, but at the same time, without this confusion, life would be too easy. And that would, in my mind, almost de-value heaven, because if life were so great and simple, who would ever want to leave this place for another? This oxymoronic/ paradoxical/ whatever you want to call it life IS a huge, constant, conflicting struggle... full of confusion and temptation... but doesn't that just make heaven all the better as the end result? Sometimes, I have to step back and look at it that way, and it helps me, on some level, get through everything here on earth.
you imply that girls are a thing to be had...
i don't think i possess anything (except foolishness and some sarcasm), and i don't think that i am possessed...
i'm speaking about all my relationships when i use those words... friends who i haven't spoken to in a long time, friends who don't speak to me, and friends with whom i am growing
i think that's getting a bit off-topic...
i'm much more comfortable living in the question than wrestling with the answer
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